If you want to know how organized you’ll be as a mother answer the following five questions, keeping track of your answers (I wish I had a test like this five years ago, for proof read: An Organized Mother)
1. When on the phone, you:
A) Give the caller your full, undivided attention. After all, they called you for a reason.
B) Wander around tidying things up, checking email, playing computer games.
2. Laundry is:
A) Something that you pick up once a week from the dry cleaner on the corner.
B) A joy, the smell of freshly laundered clothes is the scent of heaven!
3. Multitasking means:
A) Doing one thing over and over again.
B) Doing eight things at the same time.
4. Upon returning home from the grocery store, you:
A) Take one bag at a time or, better yet, pay the nice young man from next door to bring them in for you.
B) Grab every bag and carry them all at once to save having to go back for a return trip.
5. When leaving home, you:
A) Have your hair brushed, makeup applied and feet shod in fashionable heels.
B) Crocs are comfy, and so are yoga pants – bonus if the pants are dark enough to make underwear optional.
If you answered mostly A)
Mothering will require repeated visits from the fairies. You will need to schedule the strength fairy – who will allow you to juggle groceries, diaper bag, crying baby, screaming toddler and stroller; the humility fairy – who will teach you to accept leaving the house with socks and sandals, wearing a two day old shirt covered with several spots of spit up and other assorted bodily fluids; the clever fairy – who will teach you to work all the buttons & knobs on the washing machine (See: The Mystery of the Missing Keys) and program the DVR so you can watch your favourite show when you’ve got some quiet time (roughly one hour every six weeks!); and the very special and highly desired Multi-Fairy! – who will grant you the ability to clone yourself so you can change a baby, supervise a toddler, cook a lovely meal for your husband, clean the house and shave your legs…all while talking to your best friend on the phone as she tells you about her night out at the theatre with the rest of your non-parent friends.
If you answered mostly B)
You’ll likely have perfect children on a perfect schedule with perfect manners. You’ll likely have a perfectly clean house, perfectly toned body and perfectly shiny hair…and if you think that any of that is true then you’ll be perfectly surprised when the reality fairy visits you!