Diagnosis: I Might Murder Myself (By Accident!)

It was confirmed yesterday: another vitreous hemorrhage.  Apparently this one is smaller but unfortunately the blood was released into my vitreous right in the center of the retina and that’s why I can’t see worth a crap.  I have more laser treatment scheduled over the next two months but gravity and time are the only things that will help me to regain my right eye vision.

It’s a good thing that holidays start tomorrow for my husband, he will be home for the next two weeks to help me avoid some rather silly mishaps that may occur:

Depth perception is something you don’t really think about until you don’t have it.  Tip: When wiping a runny nose on a child try not to hit them in the eye instead of the nose, the two places are rather close together on small children and they don’t truly appreciate being poked in the eye! (Especially when Mommy does it, that negates the effects of Mommy’s get-better kisses which means they need Daddy!)  Also, a grown woman careening off of corners, counters, furniture, etc. is not an enjoyable sight (especially since there has been no imbibing of liquor which would otherwise just make it stupid-funny, plus kind of sad.  Without liquor, it’s just sad.)  When pouring milk, juice, coffee (wine!) it creates more work when, more often than not, I miss the cup that I am aiming for.  Then I have to get down on the floor and clean up which makes my head spin and giant black spots appear, so I really should be on a cleaning hiatus (for health reasons!)

As a right-handed person, when I sit and read in the morning I hold my reading material in my right hand and coffee in the left (Go ahead, assume the position, I’ll wait!) Now, try taking a sip of coffee (which blocks vision in the left eye) while trying to continue reading.  You only use your right eye in that circumstance and since my right eye doesn’t work it means that for every sip of coffee I take I lose my spot! Granted, it’s not the end of the world but it sure seems like it when you’re reading the newest Diana Gabaldon novel (that I’ve waited three years to read!)

Driving is something that I will not be doing for a few weeks.  It’s just not safe, I could do it in an emergency but won’t willingly put myself behind the wheel of a vehicle until more sight clears up (what if I got an itch in my left eye?)  That means that I would be stuck at home for the most part, except we will have a chauffeur around since he doesn’t have to work so that’s not too bad.  I can also still play some music, after taking lessons for more than a decade I’m perfectly capable of playing piano without looking at my hands (my teacher used to test me by making me play Bach preludes with the lights turned off) so I can keep my eyes on the music which will hopefully keep the cloud in one place, allowing me to see the majority of the notes.  The ones that I can’t see, I’ll just fake my way through (another benefit of years of lessons, you learn how to make it look like you’ve practiced when you actually haven’t!)

I can still play with the boys too, sort of.  They like to play Pile-On-Mommy or have me lay down so they can do Airplane on my legs and feet which will not be happening for a while, but I can still play Hide-And-Seek, do Bubbles and zoom around with cars and trains so they will be happy and so will I.

It’s certainly not the end of the world and at least it’s only temporary although if it takes as long to clear up completely as they say I will have spent over half of the year not seeing properly!  Perhaps that’s what the rest of my life will be like, I read a pamphlet at the doctor’s office yesterday that said for every 10 years of being diabetic your chances of having vision impaired (in some way, not just this) increase by 10% so without adding any other factors in (heredity, level of control, etc.) I’m already at a 25% chance of having vision problems.  Maybe I should start searching the Internet for a stylish eye patch that I can wear? (Speaking of eye patches, I figured out where Little Man got Reena from.  She’s Zarina, the pirate fairy in the newest Tinkerbell movie.  Her hair is red, just like our Reena’s, henceforth she will be called Rina!)


So as long as I can keep myself from wrecking the house with my messes, concussing myself with my careening or cutting off appendages from any of us with my wonky depth perception we should make it through this without problems, perhaps not completely unscathed but largely intact.


3 thoughts on “Diagnosis: I Might Murder Myself (By Accident!)

    • Thanks! As I understand it’s kind of like a bruise but takes months and months to heal. At least I don’t have to wait that long to see better, just long enough for gravity to pull the blood down out of the way.


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