For the last few hours I have been thinking a lot about loss. Last night I read a very touching post by a woman who has just lost her husband (click here to read), her words moved me in their beauty and I found myself thinking about what I would think, feel and write should I ever lose my own beloved. Then, this morning, I read a post about a woman who has lost a blogging friend, the blog is gone, the Facebook page is gone, her friend is apparently gone from cyber-space and she didn’t even get to say good-bye. (Click here to read about it) Both of these blog posts started me thinking about loss, but this is me! So my concept of loss, while in no way diminishing the sorrow these women feel, is a little more light-hearted!
When we hear the word “loss” we generally think of it as the absence of something which results in a feeling of grief. In my world I also think of it as the absence of something which was annoying the hell out of me, causing me to have extra work to do, or just something that changed my rather comfortable everyday life in any way.
A few of the losses that I have had to endure thus far:
- The fly that was buzzing around and annoying me last night is now gone. Splat! Got him. Loss, yes. Grief, heck no.
- My brother and his Toronto entourage have left (until they come back tomorrow). I will miss them (briefly) but will not miss the hundreds of dollars it cost to feed dinner to everyone! Loss, sort of. Grief, not.
- Sunshine. It has been raining for the last 15 hours or so and I’m not anticipating a return of the sun for at least a day. No trying to get sunscreen on the boys as they run around naked (their favourite way to play) and not many bugs enjoy the rain, plus it gives us an excuse to stay inside and get some stuff done. Loss, sure (it’s summer!) Grief, slightly but it will pass.
- The laundry pile is not quite gone but it will be soon. When one is sharing laundry machines it’s difficult to use them when there are a thousand people around. I’ve finally been able to use them to lose my dirty clothes. Loss, absolutely. Grief, absolutely not!
- Strawberries. The boys wanted berries for breakfast and ate nearly all that we had left so I guess I’ll have to make a trip to the grocery store at some point today. Loss, definitely. Grief, slightly. It’s a crappy day to go out.
- Last night the storm knocked out the satellite signal so we had to watch NCIS on DVD. Loss, for sure. Grief, not even close, I love NCIS!
- A blogger that I know has recently lost her room at the children’s hospital. She has been there for the last three weeks with each of her children, in turn, getting terribly sick. This morning I found out that they are finally all home and relatively healthy. (The story covers quite a few posts, beginning here) Loss, for sure. Grief, not even on the radar.
- The loss that I am most looking forward to is our old house. Not so much the actual house but more the extra mortgage that we’re having to pay while we wait for it to sell. Loss, it will be, we had a lot of good times there. Grief, a bit (maybe more if I’m being honest) but it will pass as we make new memories here.
There are losses looming that I wish I could avoid, aging loved ones being at the top of the list and the loss of my pre-schooler as he goes off to JK in the fall. Then there are others that I’m quite looking forward to, the loss of the emptiness behind my house (when we get the deck built), the loss of the almost finished boat in the workshop (which will create a whole lot of needed space in there!), the loss of my need to buy diapers, the loss of the mud flat that is my front yard (I am assured that grass will be planted, hopefully rather soon!) and the loss of my stash of frozen cocktails as I toast the losses of others (with all the respect they deserve, I swear) as well as my own (with a lot more jocularity most likely!)