All kids are sponges, we all know that they pick up the oddest things from us without our even knowing. Some strange bits of knowledge have been coming out of my kids lately.
Big Boy was playing his video game one day when GranNan came to visit. She got a vague “Hello” out of him but not much else. Then she sat down behind him and stroked his head in greeting:
“Stop GranNan, I trying to focus!”
“Goodness child, what are you, 80?”
“No GranNan, I only one 4”
Somehow he has come up with the idea that there are degrees of age. He is one 4, I am ten 4’s. We don’t ask how many GranNan is!
We’re still trying to complete the toilet training on Little Man, he’s doing very well but still insists on a diaper for his solid efforts. I have tried stickers, prizes, and happy dances to get him to use the potty but it’s still hit or miss. He has started hiding behind the television to do his business so I can often catch him and get him to the bathroom to try but he hates it and kicks up a fuss. One day we were in there and Big Boy came in to see what was wrong with his brother:
“Mommy, what wrong with Brother?”
“He’s trying to have a poop but it’s proving difficult”
“Mommy, he needs some coffee!”
I can’t remember why we had a conversation about the diuretic effects of coffee but obviously we had, and he remembered it!
The other night we were all gathered in the garage, Big Boy was bringing me rocks from the driveway. He had presented me with a particularly nice one and I complimented him on his choice. He went back to the driveway, found another and brought it over to me:
“Here Mommy, have this one instead.”
“Why sweetheart, Mommy likes this first one.”
“No Mommy, that one is rubbish.”
A little while later he was starting to get rowdy so we told him to go do something (I can’t remember exactly what) and he took off:
“Roger Mom, jolly good!”
As much as I wish we lived in Britain and could logically raise our children to have fabulous British accents (they’re so cute in children!) it’s not going to happen. Having no close relatives with accents means the only place he could have picked those phrases up is from StampyCat. (My thoughts on that can be found here!)
The other day we were fixing the brakes on my stepson’s car. Big Boy is not a mechanical creature but Little Man absolutely loves tools and being in the workshop. They had the tires off and Big Brother had his wrench to start loosening the bolts on the brakes, Little Man followed right behind him with his own little wrench so Daddy showed him a properly sized nut to unscrew:
“Daddy, I doing it!”
Daddy sticks his head in to see, the wrench is properly placed and being turned in the right direction.
“You really are buddy!”
Anytime there is a tool within reach Little Man will grab it and demonstrate its proper use. We’re not idiots, we haven’t been teaching a 3-year-old how to use power tools but he sure knows how to use them all!
Some things you want your kids to pick up. I have always tried to have my boys use proper manners and often we will be out and about when things like this happen:
Squeezing past someone in the grocery store aisle
Big Boy: “Excuse me please”
Little Man: “Ex-squeeze peeze!”
Delighted shopper: “What wonderful manners your children have!”
Me: (Inwardly thanking the stars for small mercies)
Other times it’s tricky to have them remember. Little Man loves him some Freezies (that’s how he’s learning his colours!) so we always work on the manners:
“Daddy, I wan Freezie, purple!”
“How do you ask nicely?”
Thinks about it with head cocked to the side
Sometimes you just can’t help but laugh!
Others times you want to cry. One day, before we moved, we were visiting at the farm and it was nearing time to go home so I asked Big Boy to go to the bathroom before we got in the van. He decreed that he needed to use GranNan’s potty (upstairs) so we went on up to take care of business. He assumed the position while I went to say goodbye to my brother, then I heard:
“Mommy, I meed you!”
“Are you all done?”
“I had a ploblem”
I walk in to see pee all over the floor
“You certainly did, what happened?”
“I peed out, I was in the wrong direction!”
Somehow he managed to completely miss his clothes and body, he must have had an impressive arch on that stream!
I really should start keeping a diary of these things, I could send them in to Bill Cosby. He’ll need to start-up “Kids Say The Darndest Things” again!