So I’m here at the BlissDom Social Media Conference. I “manned up”, put on my big girl panties and left my family at home to come here and learn as much as I could about how to fulfill my writing dreams, how to be a responsible presence on the Internet and how to act in a room full of people who are taller than my waist!
The whole point of this conference is for women (and a couple of men) to get together, meet each other, share their stories, learn from each other and party hard when the day is done.
What am I doing right now?
I am literally curled up in bed, shaking from head to toe!
I thought that I knew what I signed up for, I thought that I belonged amongst these driven, successful (or on their way to successful) and intelligent women. I feel like a complete fraud!
Seriously, I see women walking around for the whole day wearing the same heels that I nearly killed myself wearing to a wedding last summer. They can do it, I fall down.
I see women asking insightful questions at panels full of magazine editors, television hosts and radio news moguls. I sit and can’t think of a single thing to say.
I see women raising their hands when asked if they know what value they have in the world. I sit and can’t think of a single thing to offer.
I see women introducing themselves to complete strangers in the hallways, striking up conversations and walking off together. I find a spot to sit and get out of the way.
The funny thing is, I know that I’m a quiet, reserved person when I’m in new situations. Give me a little time (or wine) though and I’m fearless, sometimes too much so.
There have definitely been some nuggets of information that I’ve found useful, some truly wonderful women that I’ve met (I was forced to join a dinner group last night which I wasn’t looking to do but really enjoyed!) and some inspirational talks that I’ve heard.
I’m reasonably certain though that what I’ll be taking away from this conference is perhaps very different from anyone else. The theme this year is “Be Proud. Be Bold. Be You.”
I think that the last part of that slogan is perhaps the most important part of all. I have to acknowledge my limitations, adjust my self-perception and face reality.
Reality is that I cannot spend all day walking in heels. I really can’t walk in heels at all, sitting is quite safe but even standing is questionable!
Reality is that I don’t have the slightest clue what the future holds for me or even what I want it to hold aside from food, shelter and my family.
Reality is that I need to have pictures taken of me by a professional at all times if I want to keep them out of the garbage. (Huge shout-out to Anna Epp Photography who made me feel so comfortable in front of her camera!)
Reality is that as much as I love the music from the 80s, I’m too old to dress like D.J. Tanner and try to converse with strangers in a room filled with eardrum-shattering levels of NKOTB.
Reality is that as much as I thought that I would enjoy the kid-free time I truly do miss my boys and almost cry when I FaceTime them to say goodnight.
Reality is that as much as I want to impress these women with my skills, humour and viewpoint there is likely a woman at the next table who is better, funnier and more original than me! (Maybe not right now since I chose to dine alone in my room but you know what I mean!)
Reality is that I met Erica Ehm! One of the original MuchMusic VJs and founder of the Yummy Mummy Club which is a favourite website of mine, one that I have aspired to be published on. (I may still one day if I work hard and, you know, get good!) There’s really no downside to this experience, she was totally gracious and absolutely lovely. I was thrilled when she recognized my name!
Reality is that it’s time to put my big girl panties back on underneath my pretty dress and go downstairs to join in the carnival. I’m not a star yet (except in my own mind) but if I can learn to accept that…learn to accept that…learn to…ah, screw it! I’ll never accept it!
Reality is that I was born to be adored by millions!